Toilet Talk

As you might have heard, toilets in Asia work a bit differently than in the United States.

The first major difference is toilet paper. In many areas of Thailand, Laos, Nepal, and India, toilet paper is for tourists. The locals use water to clean themselves with. It saves trees. It doesn't clog the small sewage pipes. It is much easier on the bum... no harsh abrasion, and it's cleaner. (in some areas, such as Ladakh, composting toilets are used, and bits of newspaper are recycled for cleaning the hinderparts. In fact, one must be careful and not recycle the paper bits twice as sometimes there is a box to place your used bits of paper, and you don't want to confuse them with the box of clean bits of paper!)

Traditionally, squat toilets are used, which I have heard is better for digestion and evacuation, and it's definitely good for your leg muscles! There is a tub of water with a bowl to scoop out water to flush the toilet with. Likely, you also use the bowl to pour water on your left hand which you use for cleaning your hinder parts.

Once you get over the initial hurdle, it's actually quite nice. For us Westerners, who have been taught such shame and disgust about our bodily functions, the initial hurdle can be hard. It also helps to have loose bowls, which is usually not a problem in S. E. Asia. The technique is easy enough, wetting your fingers, scrubbing, repeat until your fingers pass the sniff test. Then wash well in the nearby sink. Again, the sniff test will let you know when your duty is done. You will also find, that the left hand has a taboo against it in these countries. Greeting, eating, passing things are done with the right hand for somewhat obvious reasons. I say "somewhat" because when you wash your hands, you use your right hand and fingers and finger nails to clean those of your left hand. So in some ways, it is a mute point and matter of probability whether the right hand is actually cleaner than the left.

The new thing in areas of Thailand and Laos, is the power washer. This I absolutely love! You know the spray hose that most U.S. kitchen sinks come equipped with? Something I rarely see used in the U.S. My mother washes her hair with it. And once in a while I have thought to use it to rinse off an exceptionally large pot or dish. In Thailand, they have found a good use for that hose and nozzle. It is connected to the water inlet on the toilet, and used to clean your hinderparts! It takes a little to get the knack of using it. I remember my first attempts seemed to shower my entire lower recesses from my legs to lower back. It was only when I returned from India and the hand method that I got the knack of it. For me, leaning forward to present the hinderparts more backwards, and then holding the nozzle close, and aiming well... you can feel it when you aim well!... seems to work best. And it is such a delight! no need to shower. no abrasive toilet paper. I highly recommend you take the hose off your sink and get a "T" and hook it up to your toilet!

Now, I have noticed that these water methods work best with loose bowels, which fortunately is not a problem in S.E.Asia. Diets high in vegetables and fruits and low in processed foods tend to promote looser bowels. Travellers diarrhea is relatively common due to relaxation, and changes in diet. I think a lot of travellers diarrhea is mistakenly attributed to parasites and food poisoning. In fact, it is common for foreign travellers to get diarrhea when the visit the U.S. How white bread and processed flours can produce diarrhea is a bit beyond me, but for the same reasons (changes in diet, relaxation, etc) the "hygenic" foods of the US can cause diarrhea in travelers. I have found in Thailand there seems to be less parasite/food poisoning related diarrhea than in India and Nepal. Yet, among travelers, loose bowels oft come up in conversation... sometimes abruptly ending a conversation in fact!

Which brings me to the punch line. In the Merry V., my favorite guest house on Khao San Rd in Bangkok, there is a sign in the toilet (equipped with western seat-flush toilets) which reads "Please dispose of toilet paper in the bin. Pipes are small and clog easily. Please hold the handle for 10 seconds when flushing." And then, parenthetically, the sign elaborates about flushing: "the toilet"! I always chuckle over the other possible takes on "when flushing"! It could be your bowels, or the power washer that you are flushing!